The world according to Jorge

Returning from Buckeye Country

Jorge F Parrado — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 02:49:00 GMT

Last one...

For more pics check out, http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=42379&l=e3ea3&id=521809868

http://jorgefparrado.com/2008/11/24/returning-from-buckeye-country.aspx

Buckeye Country Go and Back Again

Jorge F Parrado — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 02:31:00 GMT

Following are a few videos I put together at the Bucks-Michigan football game in Columbus, Ohio.

http://jorgefparrado.com/2008/11/24/buckeeye-country-go-and-back-again.aspx

Making Dinnr Part Deux

Jorge F Parrado — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Taking the first bite
http://jorgefparrado.com/2008/07/09/making-dinnr-part-deux.aspx

View from the balcony

In the end, the dinner wasn't bad. The Argie red wine was pretty good and lilly gave my carpet a blessing, guess she's Catholic.

Making dinner

Jorge F Parrado — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 23:01:00 GMT

Jeez...
Last time I made dinner for a woman, I didn't have the Bride, nor I scraped my way up the Devil's Wisdom Tooth.
In any case, my dear friend Christy "twisty" took up the chance in trying out Aji de fideo, spaghetti spices using Bolivian spaghettis.
Christy also brought Lilly, her dog, who I refer to as Ellen Degeners because she's all black with white paws and Ellen hosted the Oscars number of years ago and...Lilly is a bitch.

Here I am trying to cook, Christy recording, narrating.
http://jorgefparrado.com/2008/07/09/making-dinner.aspx

It was a nice day, bit humid but then it's summertime in DC and not my favorite time of the year.

Lilly...aka Ellen Degeneres learns the ways of the force.

Clips from La Paz Part Deux

Jorge F Parrado — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 02:10:00 GMT

Now that I'm back I can start loading up more pics from La Paz and rest of Bolivia.

Behold...the mighty Illimani mountain!!

It's south of La Paz, lies over the Andes, ancient Inca legends say that it is a great lion at sleep and it is to awaken upon the end of days. There are very few locals that know the way into the mountain, it must be a great sight.

There I am at a summitt about two hours away from Illimani. If you look behind me, there is a similar passage like the Grand Canyon. The person that took me there said, "you are not far from the Grand Canyon."

Then I was driven up to see an old friend...or foe, the Devil's Wisdom Tooth. A dormant volcano that stands for thousands of years just outside of La Paz, overlooking the entire city. Once you climb to the top, you can see as far as El Alto, the north side of the city and where the airport is located.

It doesn't look like much but the jagged rocks are tricky when climbing.

This is a path leading to the muela. When I was grwoing up, this house was not here.

Notice, 3,775 ft above sea level.

Here's a look at the muela. By the time I reached this side, I was quite exhausted.

This is the famous cave which locals fear. According to them snakes crawl out and an Indian with a feather over his head appears. I remember it being wider, it seems like it has caved in while I was gone...26 years, long time.

To the bottom right is the house I walked passed to get to the muela, the road to the muela is very treacherous, should be called the new highway of death.

Here's me...since I went up lonewolf, figure to take a pic of myself.

As I kept climbing, lost my footing and started to slide down the muela, then a ring on my right hand caught with a rock and kept me hanging. If anyone was looking at the mountain from a distance probably saw it. I'd likely would have broken my legs, or something, but the ring saved me. As I gathered myself up, and rested, noticed this rock...so I took it. Can you see the face? Look at the shape of the rock...a tooth.

Around 430, sun started coming down and made my way down the muela. Then I realized something, I had taken the wrong turn. On my way up, I should have stayed on my left and would have easily climbed into the craddle within the muela, instead, took the right which was more dangerous. But then, would not have found the tooth.

This is a picture of my shadow coming down the muela. Notice my hat shaped into a pair of horns.

No trace of Butch and the Kid.

Clips from La Paz

Jorge F Parrado — Mon, 19 May 2008 20:22:00 GMT

Here are some pics from and around La Paz.

On my first Monday, May 12, I went to visit Cora, Mirtha, my stepmoms youngest sister. Mirtha gave me some things to deliver, most I saw at Mercado negro, but not in the jumbo size as sold at COSTCO.

Cora at her place, sponsoring Heat Wraps sent by my stepmom, she´s pretty much my mother.

this is the back of Cora´s place in San Miguel La Paz, very affluent neighborhood. You can see the difference between classes and race. Regardless, Cora did some great decor with it, I should take pics of it...definitely worth the second look at...besides, could use it as inspiration for my own castle some day.

Not far from her place on Saturday night I pitted in at Alexander Coffee, the GDB version of Starcraps...my love for the brand. Anyways, I stepped in there with the usual lonewolf look, stetson, all in black with Claudia, we were outside, service was horrible, server came by twice, started to get cold for Claudia so I asked to move inside, personnel first wouldn´t they claimed not to have enough tables, there was one available, then I waived the Masctercard...the manager wanted to lick my ass. As we followed to the new table, some Argies says in Spanish, "asshole" I simply put my index finger on the table knife beside his right hand, his buddy froze so did the Argie. Later on, as I was paying at the counter I turned to make eye contact with him. He wouldnt.
Rich people in third world countires think they got it all, they dont realize that they can lose it all in an instant. funny thing is, though I have no respect for Evo, maybe his reign in power will be a wake up call. many say that Bolivia is at a brink of civil war.

This is my cousin Mauricio feeding the pidgeons outside the Bolivian Capitol. Evo must be inside worshipping that portrait of Che. every time I think about that I want a rip a new one.

Mariela, Daniela´s only daughter. I bought her a kitchen set of toys, told her to rip the wrapping paper, everyone gave me a weird look.

Calderones Golden Vows

Jorge F Parrado — Thu, 15 May 2008 23:24:00 GMT

May 10, La Paz-So the big day has finally come, one that doesn{t come much around for many couples in this day and age, so it is very special to be present for my great aunt and uncle¨s Golden Vows Anniversary.

Saturday morning got up around 8am, had breakfast with Rodo and family, my great aunt Vita came by, as always she was running around all worried about everything and everyone.

During breakfast I realized I brought the wrong shirt, so Rodo took me down to el Mercado Negro, bascially, you can pretty much find averything and everything you want there. Bought a white shirt for about 5 Dollars, made in the US! In the mean time, Maria took the kids to get their hair done, specially Belen as she was a flower girl.
We got back to meet Maria and the kids, Maria says, "you need to get your hair trimmed...and your eyebrows too." I went along with her plan, so yeah, guess I can´t make fun of the GDB for being a metrosexual. Then again, he{s left that path a while back.

We got back to Rodo´s by 1pm, had lunch, then prettied up! Everyone was ready by 430pm, headed on down to the Mass set for 5PM. Let¨s not forget Bolivian time so it started about 15 minutes late and guests kept on arriving half way through the ceremony, Uncle Raul got a bit emotional during his part of the ceremony, later on my cousin Marcelo pointed out in the cab, "unlce Raul cries like a girl doesn¨t he?" Like father like son, I caught him getting teary during the ceremony.

Rodo with Belen and my niece Esthersita. She´s only 17...watch it!! Just got the lone wolf blade sharpenedd up.

The party took place at a hall in Achumani, the more afluent side of La Paz where lots of girls prance around, mostly young, but also very snobby, totally wished I had the guns. Kids are total tools, again as my here Billly the butcher said. As for the location hosting the party, dont ask for the name, cant remember, but pics and video should speak for itself...really nice place. Oh...since I´ve arrived here, been trying and falling like a drunk...not sure what´s up with that?!

Here I am with my great uncle raul Calderon.

Here I am with my great aunt Esther.

Hmm...Candidate number 1! her name is Claudia, graphic designer, 27, and yes...she´s taller than me.

This is my uncle Toño´s sweet little princess...Esthersita. Any tool that comes her way will be shot on sight!

the cake or as they call it here...the great torta, very nice, the wall had a cascade coming down the wall...camerra didn´t capture it.

Friday Afternoon Clips and Drinks

Jorge F Parrado — Wed, 14 May 2008 15:02:00 GMT

This entry is to speak for itself.

Miami Airport, after a Mojito...10 bucks!! GDB? How do you like those red pants?

Take note that Internet here is kinda slow, not many use Internet at home, prfer to use cybercafes, which something new for me. Aunt Cora has it at home but she{s on the other side of town, more of a headache to get down there. In addition, goddady{s is crap to edit photos, can{ rotate them. So do tilt your head over to check out some of the pics.

I am attaching some clips taken during the day and when I entered my great aunt and uncle´s place.

Here I am with nieces I never got to meet until Friday night. Coco{s daughters, please...trying to keep up with names here, they multiply pretty quickly.

Coco trying out my hat and glasses.

This is Daniela, I left her when she was one and a half year old. She has a daughter, named Mariela.

Here I am with my Great Uncle, Raul, checking out the agua ardiente bottle. Man!! Irt is effing good!! No hang over!!

More to come!!!

Friday Night Recap

Jorge F Parrado — Tue, 13 May 2008 21:21:00 GMT

Ok...so here´s Friday´s recap.
I arrived at 7am, my cousin Rodo picked me up from El Alto Airport in La Paz. I was suppose to feel the altitude, didn´t really feel much, I got into the whole Jac Bauer mode as I usully, leave a trail of blood and chaos.
Rodo took me up his place in San Pdero, community in La Paz. It´s a hike the entire city is based inside a crater, so if you want to work some nice thighs come here...this explain why many of the women I´ve seen here have some nice legs...yes, I might get married. HA!
Rodo´s place is a four story home, featuring marbled floors and walls, hardwood floors an a great view of the city. He´s got a rooftop balcony with a solarium...he definitely made a hell of a place!
His wife Maria is really nice, he odest son is Mauricio, 12 years old, smart kid, learning to play piano and very respectful. Rodo´s daughter is Belen, she´s nine, and she´s very shy, think she´s afraid of me, has warmed up to the LL Bean muppet do g I gave her. She´s going to grow up to be a very beautful, I asked Rodo if he´s settign up a hunting room featuring rifles and guns long with a deer´s head, in this case scenario a Llama´s head would do.

I got set up, then we headed out to Mercado negro, which is quite a colorful area where you pretty much find almost everything you need. Case in point, I saw TUMS, which my mom sent as part of delivery to her sister.

After lunch, Maria took me up to see my great aunt and uncle Esther and Raul Calderon and the rest of the family. They are celebrating their golden vows, basically 50 years of putting up with each other. That´s something you don´t see every day on this day and age.

Their home is pretty much another 4 story building, in which all or most of their sons and daughters live in separate apartments. The Calderones are very close and multiple in numbers.
Arrival at Rodo´s place.
http://jorgefparrado.com/2008/05/13/friday-night-recap.aspx

I got set up, then we headed out to Mercado negro, which is quite a colorful area where you pretty much find almost everything you need. Case in point, I saw TUMS, which my mom sent as part of delivery to her sister. We got my cell phone, better known as the Iraqi War Vet...now operating on a Bolivian Cell provider...Hilarious!!

After lunch, Maria took me up to see my great aunt and uncle Esther and Raul Calderon and the rest of the family. They are celebrating their golden vows, basically 50 years of putting up with each other. That´s something you don´t see every day on this day and age.

Their home is pretty much another 4 story building, in which all or most of their sons and daughters live in separate apartments. The Calderones are very close and multiple in numbers.

Coco took me aroudn town for a bit, noticed a gwall with graffity saying, Evo Chola de Chavez (Evo is Chavez´bitch).

When I left Bolivia 26 years ago, Coco´s oldest daughter, Daniela was a year and a half old, and I taughjt her how to walk.

In this video, recounts how she wouldn´t take a step, thne I asked her "ven conmigo...ven conmigo" (come with me come with me), and she took her first steps in life. Now she´s a married woman and daughter, taking great steps in life. And here I am, still single.

We drank up a bottle of Bolivian Aguardiente, made a bet with Toño about the famous Bolivian derby on Sunday, Boliviar versus The Strongest. As a Strongest fan, I bet him if my team won, Toño would have3 to walk aroudn the block on a pollera (native women´s dress skirt), and if Bolivar won, he´d get to shave my hair. It´s on!

Everyone rested up for Saturday´s big day featuring the golden vow and party.

Jorge F Parrado — Fri, 09 May 2008 13:42:00 GMT
<so far so so good...now what?
I arrived in La Paz at 7am, <rodo pickedme up and now we aremaking abut the neighborhood. <there are a few streets <i remembeber, and seeing lots of cholitas which <topo would fall in love with.
<rodo´s place is amazing, 4 story house, all ceramic walls in the bathroom, balcony and crownmolding in the livingroom...what the eff am <i doing up there?

Oh...keyborads here a bitdifferent.

Physically, >I didn´t sleep much on flight, maybean houreven with the 30mg of sleeping pill, so we shall see.
This afternoon, I´ll have my dad´sfriend, Negro take mearound the city, need to do some surveillance, Bourned Identity stuff.

I´ll get back online later on hopefully and load up a few pics

Going Lonewolf on the Trail of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

Jorge F Parrado — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:00:00 GMT

It has finally come to this...Jorge F. Parrado, the greatest mind of the 21st century trapped in a world of illusionary freedoms pulled on strings by a Texan tool, will finally embark on a quest...to the Republic of Bolivia now under the angered fingertips of a leftist-tool. I should work at Home Depot, would certainly be at home there.

Friends have said that I'll be coming back married, others have said I'll want to stay as life there is not as tough as here...you just don't have much money to spend. Besides the condo and The Bride...hmm, there's not much difference there and here. The Euro is kicking the Dollars ass in both countries. It is so sad now that even stores in New York and DC are accepting the Euro...talk about immigration?! Let's talk about the Euro beating on the Dollar!! Tools! Tools!! Tools!!!

From a social and cultural point of view, America is in a downward spiral of chaos and shame. Once looked upon as the beacon of cultural and social advancement, we are now no better than a third world country. In 8 years, the US has fallen on its ass countless times...Miss USA 07 sums it best.
Therefore, this is a long awaited trip, beheld by capitalist responsibilities, attempting to make others happy but failing countless times, personal stigmas against the motherland and its conservative cultural values. Some say, "go to Europe!" Others say, "you like Asian girls, go to China, Philippines, Viet Nam, Thailand..." In all, I am taking a page of an American advice..."the road leads west." For Butch and Sundance the road lead south, so I'm going.

I intent to find the trail of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, leaving a trail of partying in La Paz, Cochabamba, and Sucre; unearth treasures in Potosi and visit what's left of the Parrado vineyard; adventures in the wild; wine and singani tasting in Tarija, and leave a trail of tears of wonderful memories.

...Hopefully, watch me end up on youtube begging for money for my release.

So the trip is on! I've got three weeks to find parts of me long forgotten, trail the country, like Butch and Sundance ride into each town as a stranger, unnoticed on cowboy boots, stetson hat packing cash and Church and Dwight produts. Then, maybe find something or someone new. Like Sundance, I'm not picky...she just has to be pretty...she has to be courteous...she has to have nice legs...and so on and on...

I'm 36 years old, and I'm finally learning to live, come to terms with my manhood and have forgiven myself for the things I've done against my being and specially others.
I have friends and family that love me (though not sure about my tool brother), but in all...I am alone. I am not lonely, just alone...thus, lonewolf.
They say that you should push yourself over boundaries at least once in your lifetime, I think now is the time. I am going back to the motherland as a foreigner, a stranger in a land I should refer to as home, but in essence it represents the unanswered questions that manifest in dreams, memory glitches scattered through my brain cells, and the aging of relatives left behind--to see them one last time before their times comes. Everyone is getting old, your happiness is measured by how much of it you share it with others-specially someone you committ to love until your last breath.

Yesterdays is a memory...today sets up tomorrow...tomorrow is unwritten-make best of it and die trying.

Lone Wolf

Commentary on Lonewolf

Jorge F Parrado — Wed, 07 May 2008 04:57:00 GMT

Jeanette talks about Lonewolf, part 1
http://jorgefparrado.com/2008/05/06/commentary-on-lonewolf.aspx

Jeantte part 2.

Blondes...They are Everywhere

Jorge F Parrado — Sun, 04 May 2008 10:10:00 GMT

On way to the GDB's place I met up with Christy who had a new haircut...very hot. I also parked the Bride next to a classic, a 65 Mustang...let the video speak for itself.

http://jorgefparrado.com/2008/05/04/blondesthey-are-everywhere.aspx

At RFk...DC United Lbs Real Salt Lake

Jorge F Parrado — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 03:03:00 GMT

April 26, 2008 DC United hosted the Real Salt Lake at good ol' glorious RFK stadium in Washington DC. I was there, with Rick, Beth and Foster...along with the Barra Brava lot.
We drank, lit up a few cigs, and Foster became a believer...yes, beer can rain upon if you believe enough.
Barra Brava going at it Buck wild. And yes...it's raining beer.
http://jorgefparrado.com/2008/04/28/at-rfkdc-united-lbs-real-slat-lake.aspx

For a moment there I thought Bono from U2 was right behind us. Then, Foster is trying to hire a translator...so Beth in her best Spanish skills lent the service...Foster...bill receipt will come in by mail.

Indeed, Foster is wearing his Buckeye shirt, which shows how embracing the Barra Brava is, welcoming a Buckeye. And yes, he was frisked for molotov cocktail bombs and let him through with his beer.

United took a home win, avenging a horrible defeat back in Salt Lake few weeks past. A 4-1 result is fine, but it's a long season.

My next United game will be in June, that is if I return in one piece from GDBland.
Until then...let there be chaos, it shall be written it shall be done.
UNITED!!!

Pope Benedict XVI drives by Penn Ave

Jorge F Parrado — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 22:18:00 GMT

It was a slow day at work...so I took a bit of a walk up 21st to see history at it's making. And so, Pope Benedict XVi's mobile zipped on through onlookers.

http://jorgefparrado.com/2008/04/16/pope-benedict-xvi-drives-by-penn-ave.aspx

I have to say, it was a bit surreal, there were a lot of angry people around along with the singing crowd. Pope Benedic XVI zips on by Penn Ave.

Protesters and singers.

Juanes Show at Patriot Center

Jorge F Parrado — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 03:39:00 GMT

Beginning of the Juanes show at patriot Center...cute Canadian chick behind me, 9th row..not bad... Sis and JaKKKie joined up later.
http://jorgefparrado.com/2008/03/31/juanes-show-at-patriot-center.aspx

Jeanette and Armando Finally Get Hitched!!

Jorge F Parrado — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 22:52:00 GMT

Ok...while I get Douginho on fixing up the video of my speech, you'll just have to settle for the scripted version that I wrote up leading to my best man speech for Jeanette and Armando. If anyone has a copy, please pass it on ASAP.

Yes! I can read and write, for once it wasn't mindless dribble at the market, but rather my own Nessun Dorma dedicated to my beloved friends, Jeanette and Armando...both claim that it's my loving fault they got married, but...will quote the Chilean Elvis, "they are your great achievement." Correction Chilean...they are my great achievement...SO FAR.

I know I promised a roast
and Mr. Deeds refused to show off his frosted feet,
but both will be for another time.

I want to also tip my hat to Señor Vincent Contreras, Jeanette's father. In the little time we spent together, he unselfishly showered me with his wisdom. Vincent, as you will never forget me...I will not, and will remember all you've told me, sir. It has been my privilege and honor meeting you.

Douginho will clean up the sound and crop down the length. Right after my speech the Chilean Elvis jumped on, then some one else...and so forth and so forth. Bottomline, the Parrado Speech Wagon was like a Bolivian bus ride through DC.

As for the speech, it was scripted and given that I suffer from the "10 second Bob" syndrome, do find the notes in "( )" as entertainment and/or perhaps a simple man's attempt on stage.

If you wish to give your reading a bit of soundtrack...access, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCuALWK6ZNg&mode=related&search= in a different Internet window, there...a bit of soundtrack to the speech; if you have a 1982 Tignanello Chianti bottle, pop it open and have a glass while reading it. Otherwise, one from Trader Joe's will just do.

At bottom, you will have a taste of the couple's approach to sharing a piece of the cake.

Best Man Speech for Jeanette and Armando
by Jorge F. Parrado

Good evening. (Hannibal Lecter impression)
Thank you for coming to the wedding of Jeanette and Armando Tellez.
I--am Jorge Parrado, the best man...
And if this speech doesn't go well...
I'll go down in history as the "first human piñata!" (pause)

I want to thank our lovely Zuhel Diaz for stepping up as the wedding coordinator;
she's been tremendous at stewarding us all--to a glorious evening. (raise arms [Hopkins in MJB flick])
The maid of honor--the bridesmaids...ladies you are lovely in the eyes of the beholder...
but it's Jeanette's night...and so we are ALL hers!
As for the ushers...what can I say? (shake head in disappointment)
Eager to turn me into the human piñata!! [Jeremy Irons Scar imitation] (pause)

The American Dream...(positive tone of voice, pause)
We talked about it, you and I... right after you bought the Porsche. (eye contact w/ Armando)
I hailed him for all his success since college.
Remember? I quote, "What good is it, if there's no ONE to share it with?"
I said, "dude...it's just a matter of time,
you'll meet the ONE you will love for who she is and all that she can be.
And she will love you for who you are and all that you can be."

Months go by, he calls, "I met a girl!!" (imitate Armando)
He was excited!!
And when I met Jeanette..."she's the ONE!" (make eye contact w/ Jeanette)
He didn't have to say it, his posture, his smile said it all. (eye contact w/ Armando)
And who can blame him? (eye contact w/ both...then look around)

I've known Armando for 10 years in which years he has become a successful and determined man
that friends and family respect and love.
He has been there for me during times of need offering guidance; and so he is my brother. (pause)
I've known Jeanette for three years, and I love her as friend and sister;
lovingly refer to her as "mom."
Unknowingly, she steered me back to the "one true church." [eye contact w/ Father Caulfield]
It has been 17 years since my last confession. (drop voice tone...again Hopkins from MJB flick)

Armando and Jeanette, you have graced me with this moment, and so...you are my family.
Together go on...lovingly--realize your own American Dream, into an unforgettable reality!! (raise voice through line)
What else can I tell you? (Hopkins from MJB flick, pause)

(pick up glass) Friends and family...loved ones...
To Bride and Groom! (raise glass, face them)

PS--I also want to thank the lovely Paloma Kajero for accompanying me to the wedding as my date to my most trusted and loyal friends. Thank you sweety...and I hope you had a lovely time. J

Caption-I've always loved chalk and charcoal portraits...do take a close look, and notice the script in my pocket. Ta! Ta!--J

The Rise of the Bumblebee Kill Bill

Jorge F Parrado — Mon, 20 Aug 2007 03:27:00 GMT

Well...I am sorry to say that I had to let go of the Green Gobbler

Instead...ended up with BumbleBee Kills Bill aka The Bride.

Stupid Young Republicans

Jorge F Parrado — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 03:04:00 GMT

I had to check with Topogigo to ensure that he didn't hook up with Angela Valdez, writer for probably one of the best articles on the DC club scene as long as I can remember. Check out Members Only on the City Paper!
Topogigo rattling about how selective the young crowds have become in the city. So bad that I even refuse to hang out at some of my old spots. The saloon is involved with this? Jeez! What kind of world do we live in where dressing you just got off the boat is so hip? I mean these are the same people that make fun of illegal aliens when they themselves dress like they just off the boat themselves.

The pictures don't show many faces but then, judging from the outfits the women are wearing, they don't appear to be no where classy!

Photo by Darrow Montgomery, City Paper 2007

Definitely enjoyed the article and hope to see more of them.

I've always said UVA graduates are total Jackasses and I'm so glad this has been published as it demonstrates just how pathetic elitist wanna bes they are.

Love this picture, definitely insulting the US flag
KID! TAKE THEM OFF, YOU DON'T DESERVE TO WEAR IT!!

Photo by Darrow Montgomery, City Paper 2007

CUMBIA!!!

Jorge F Parrado — Wed, 16 May 2007 22:53:00 GMT

Sunday May 13, 2007 will go down in Premier history as the day the Theater of Dreams hosted every Hammers dream come to reality. Singlehand, Argentine striker Carlos Tevez netted the lone goal for the match that saved West Ham from relegation, regardless what the Gang of Four might try to do in the courts.

Now Inter Milan is the front runner in taking up the striker's services, offering to drop loads of cash...we will see. In the mean time we can only hope Tevez stays a Hammer!